FAKE WALLS

maybe you think that you know what's happening in the lives around you
that you know those who are struggling
and those who are thriving
but let me assure you of something
you are wrong
stop stopping at the wall they've placed before you
and understand that brokenness is there
even when the appearance is of a whole
bc trust me
there is a lot you don't know

BEYOND YOU

have you ever thought about the thousands of light bulbs
that shine above you in walmart
and who put them there
or the billions of ants you've crushed in a lifetime
what do you know about the earth and the lava boiling in the center of it all
how about the fact that someone just died
and someone was just born
these things happen without our knowledge
the bursting stars in outer space
the earthquakes in the ocean
the tears which were hidden from you
yes these are all unknowns
what do you think about that

MOMENT OF REALIZATION

listen close, my wonderful friend
there is a secret which i must spill
it is a secret which i am still learning to realize but here it is nonetheless


the change has become normal 


change
which we dread
and fight
and detest
has. become. normal.


it isn't something you notice right away
but one day it hits you as you're driving along saying how beautiful it is
that's when you remember how hard you fought this beautiful bc you didn't know it would be beautiful
at least that's how it was for me


slow down. breathe. it's a new normal. and it'll be okay.

STAY

who says leaving is the only answer
who says you're not good enough
and what makes them the authority on that
why has giving up become the chosen option
when darling, there are so many more
it's not like pain isn't real
bc it is
what if pain is a blessing
what if staying could mean the difference between ending your story without really living it
the difference between life and death
doing hard things is hard - that's how its supposed to be
some days you will feel beat
sometimes you'll just cry
it's ok
don't say goodbye to second chances
don't cross off all the available options to the most empty of them all
stay. please. k.

[ okay so this is probably one of the toughest things I've written. it's tough bc its a subject a lot of people have chosen to brush past for many reasons. maybe you don't deal with these thoughts or don't want to think about them...well, whatever it is, they are still real. still there. and NOT going away. Elissa emailed me + a bunch of other fantastic bloggers awhile ago. this is part of a post series about staying. about realizing that God has given you this life as a gift.  and that, you're loved. completely and utterly loved ]

STOP DEALING WITH IT

stop trying to prove to yourself
and to everyone else
that you can deal with it
bc there are times when you cannot
and there are days when you just shouldn't
bc that just wont lead you into good places
it'll just dig you farther into your mindset of ive got this
and when you think real hard about this
you realize your hands are empty and truly you haven't got it
instead of pushing yourself until you fall off that cliff edge
hold tight onto the One who can and will deal with it
its much much better. promise