come back

you know what scares me the most
it is when
the leaves fall off the trees
and we are left with
barren nothingness
bc soon
snow will fall
and no longer
will we hear
the rustle from above
the birds singing songs
which you can hear
but not see
it's the time when you no longer
can escape to the outdoors
bc it's cold
that's what scares me
i just want the leaves to stay
where they are
forever
plz

yeah this is how i feel

t e s t e d

in the short time that i could see
i saw
i didn't know that i would go blind
but i knew
as a child does
that everything is beautiful
and special
each color
noise
movement
so i studied them
but then i went blind
it wasn't my fault
or anyone's actually
i guess it was just a slow process
the doctors said
it should have happened sooner
but it didn't
i know that was God
letting me study a bit longer
cause i wasn't ready
for such a large test yet
but now I can still see
in a way
which i studied for that short while
and i treasure it
so remember your sight
it's a gift

literally inspired by a tv show episode 

the smile

you let down your guard
someone noticed
a smiled slipped out when
it wasn't supposed to
the feelings were buried
or so you thought
but apparently
you hadn't
you try to be tough
you try to be a force to be reckoned with
but what do you do
when that stranger
that nobody
says hello and smiles
you could feel it crack
the ice on your heart
that is
and a smile slips onto your face
it wasn't so bad
maybe
next time
it'll be easier
and you can be that stranger
for someone else

this one was inspired by a smile that i gave someone

p o c k e t s

the little boy
he has big brown eyes
and pockets in his jeans
that hold so many things
you never know
what will fall out
sometimes
it's just a rock
but the simple rock to us
is a treasure to him
it's been washed
polished
inspected for a fossil
and then stuffed back into his pocket
along side the other treasures
like screws and tape measures
paper and crayons
pennies and dimes
leaves and pebbles
all the things
that the little boy needs
because he sees the simple
he sees more than anyone
for he is still young
he can still see
while we
the older people
with empty pockets
are blind

idk

i feel like
i don't know
what to say anymore
i look around and see
so much hurt and anger
so much so much
and i don't know what to do
it's like the words that i had 
evaporated
they're gone
dangling in the air
waiting to see if i'll grasp them again
part of me wants to
part of me is scared to
so i'm gonna roll with it
when i'm ready
i'll talk again

so basically ive learned that i need to tell you all if certain poems pertain to me or not - this one does

that last one? about the shopkeeper..nope. That was just a story *laughs cuz noooo thannnks*

the shopkeeper

His eyes used to sparkle
When I would enter the shop
And he would wave
Send me a grin
Say hello
He always was a friend
I treasured that
Somehow life happened
And I moved
I forgot
Or so I thought
He didn't
Cause that day
When I accidentally opened the door
Heard the bells sing
He smiled again
And waved
But he didn't say hello
Instead
He asked me where I had been
Still a friend
Never changing
Now we talk
Conversations
And now
I'm seeing a man I wish I had known
All those years ago

storyteller

to be a storyteller
to watch the looks on their faces
as they hear the words
as i make them up
the story which came out of nowhere
and suddenly
im compelled
im compelled to tell it
so i have to
weird things happen
characters come out of nowhere
but when they enter
i become their friend
cause im the storyteller
their voice
to share
and enjoy
the world they come from

i'm here

hello
i thought i knew you
but then you told me
you told me of a story
that i had never heard before
somehow
you've changed
i see you in a different light
no longer are we strangers
no longer am i unable to understand
now i can try
to make an effort
to pray harder
to fight harder
to never let you slip
into a place
where your heart gets cold
because im going to hold on
im going to try my best
to give you my all
so you don't have to crack
under the pressure
of everything
so hello
your face is new
let's talk
im here for you