b e w a r e

i thought that books were
harmless enough
but i was wrong 
they aren't just a bunch of words
printed out on paper
they play with your mind
giving you a sensation
of a world
you are yet to be a part of 
and yet
the moment you close the book
you think you are free
but you are not 
the story 
is still there 
bc your mind
has been captivated by them
beware
open at your own risk  

dont even know why i thought of this but it actually makes sense....somehow

im terrified

something has happened
a thing has
shifted
i used to be able to
form the words in my head
into poems
but now
all i hear is
silence
it's as if
the words have decided to leave
as if
they said goodbye
we bothered you for a time
but now
it's someone else's turn
so now im confused
i thought poetry was for me
help
i won't let go
am i supposed to
idk anymore

legitness right here. im struggling, but won't give up 

people watching

he gently pushed her in the wheelchair
his feet shuffled with each step
she sat silently
touching the plastic casing
on the bag
in the basket
he was quiet
she was just as quiet
but words were spoken
in their actions
the store was so big
so many other people
going about
doing their own shopping
who would notice them
but you see
i did

and now....i'll never forget

to dance (short story)

basically
i wrote this
bc so many people asked me to
at first
it didn't come
but then
on this rainy day
the story started to flow
its sweet
and adorable
and geesh
i made new friends

this is the poem

click on this link to read the story  To Dance 

the song

once
i heard the song
it was unexpected
rather
shocking
it made me remember
the tears that i shed
the moments of exhaustion
from the unbelievable ache
it was the song
that they played for you
with the words
unforgettable
bc they're true
and real
and hurt
just a little
too much
but sometimes
i play that song
just to remember that ache
that way
i never fully
forget

bc finding dory surprised me and made me wanna cry 

the spoken

 

once
someone told me
that i use words
differently
that the way i speak
the way i pile words together
was odd
it hurt
cuz i never thought i did it wrong
i thought i was normal
so i took classes
to learn
to be the normal i saw
and after a long while
i found
that normal
was boring
so i went back to the way i had spoken before
back to who i was
before i had let someone else's
words
effect me
no longer was that grip there
bc now
i found me

kinda a fabricated tale of what someone once said to me and what i did

it hurts

it hurts too much
to care that is
to love those you love
to love those you treasure
when you care
you experience sorrow
through death
disappointment
hurt
regret
you hold onto hope
that death will not snatch
the person you love away
then when death comes
you fight
you fight hard
it's a losing battle
but a soldier fights anyways
it's what you do
its what you're called to do
and
it hurts to hate
you carry the pain of memories
of past words and jabs
when death comes
for that person you hate
regret fills you like an empty pool
so why hate
or love
they both hurt
they both cause pain
choose one my friend
pain of love
pain of hate
either way you go
you'll see
it hurts to care

something i wrote months ago and decided i could finally post it now

me vs you

i thought my problems were big
that i had been through it all
that no
not you
me
im sad
im mad
what have you gone through
then i saw
it wasn't just about me
you too have had trials
just as big
just as hard
if not more so
and bc of that
we have grown
become who we are
it's good to hurt
to walk through a dark time
but it's better
you see
then being whole
and scared of being broken

for all my friends who recently opened up to me and taught me a lesson

im afraid

have you ever been
so afraid of something
that you just look at it
and shake your head
slowly at first
then
quickly
and say no
that you can't do it
the fear is too real
almost too deep
to touch
but it's there
so you can't do it
you have to turn away
and say
no
i can't
not today

realized the other day that im more afraid of stuff than i thought

the reoccurring dream

i had a dream
and in this dream
i was up high
in a room
an attic
and it was empty
large
and scary
the floor boards were cracked
i could see below
from above
and i could see a door
it was directly across from me
only a few steps
but the gaping holes
held me back
i turned and saw a window
it looked old
with the classic panes
i look down
and there was my sister
she waved
and i asked her to help me
she kept waving as if
she didn't hear me
i access the room again
and there was a dress
on an antique dress form
suddenly im in a store
selling watches
and i wake up
and remember
ive had this dream before
once
a long time ago

legit. 

new laughter

her laugh
its changed
it seems more open
almost a bit more
f r e e
as if
something has broken
a chain
that kept the laughter
from bubbling
as it does now
i don't even think
she has noticed
but
you see
i have

for the girl in the photo